i actually care
i care a lot
i care a ton
and yet
i can't seem to avoid
producing
volumes
of plastic trash

so many
of the
wonderful
things
i enjoy

so fascinating

in this world

the privileges

and i
dance about
"i am the king of the world!"

are created
by
giant
companies
we
complain
about that
we
may
live
in old houses
in old
neighborhoods
on
principle
but

we drive our cars
we shop at whole foods
and Target
we surf
the web
we fly
to Hawaii
and
we are grateful

one person
a friend, i guess
bitterly complains
about big companies
complains about
billionaires
and
executives
but
he worked
for the
phone
company
and
he's
extremely
proud
of that

go figure

big companies
rule
they
get it done

i want to get it done
i want to create a big company
a giant company
i want to be
the founder
and
ceo

partly
because i want all the perks
i do
even
to be contrary
but
also
partly

to get it done

to make it at least possible for anyone
and everyone
to do all their shopping
and not produce ANY

plastic
waste.

also

my prosperity feels quite limited
and it's not that there isn't massive abundance out there
all around me
or even that
(though i'm, i would say, quite poor)
i don't have access to it
because the little money i have could buy me a lot
all sorts of stuff
it even does
no
it's
it seems to me
because
the systems in place for buying
(and selling)
are incompletely developed

the abundance is out there (soto)
the systems are out there
those are the big things
and the big things aren't the problem
the little things are the problem

the details

like

that i have to use my credit card
to buy stuff - and give away money -
on line

the credit card
with its unlimited ballance
if someone could game that little system
my credit card number
they could run up a huge tab
on me

and then
to correct the problem
i would have to go through
i would have to jump through various hoops

the alternative
(here's my silly dream, my wish)
i would write a check
i guess
to a company
and
by that means
create a little pool of money
on line

that i could spend
by pressing buttons
and when it's used up
it's used up

i even know things like this exist